


Are all werewolves bisexual?

by Chlobliviate



Series: A Very Potter Christmas [7]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Gay Character, Gay Sirius Black, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Sixth Year, M/M, Marauders, Oblivious Peter, Top Remus Lupin, Werewolf Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:27:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27925249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chlobliviate/pseuds/Chlobliviate
Summary: When Peter doesn't 'get' Remus' sexuality, Sirius spells it out to him. Inspired by the picture below.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: A Very Potter Christmas [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/886935
Comments: 12
Kudos: 159





	Are all werewolves bisexual?

[ ](https://i.redd.it/4neivebfg5v11.jpg)

“Remus!” Mary half-jogged to catch up with him, halfway down the corridor. “Remus, hey. I just thought I’d ask, while we’re on rounds. Are you going to Hogsmeade with anyone this weekend?” Remus smiled awkwardly as he heard Sirius’ distinct cough, making Mary look around puzzled, “Did you hear that?”

“Actually I am going with someone, sorry.” Remus hoped that refusing to acknowledge the noise would make it go away. “They asked me last week.”

“Oh, ok. No worries. I’ll just… get back to it then. Hope you have fun, _whoever_ you’re going with.” She smiled at him before heading back the way she came.

Just as she was out of earshot, Sirius, James and Peter came tumbling out from beyond the tapestry they’d been hiding behind.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Remus whispered. “You’re not supposed to be out this late.” He looked directly at Sirius, whom he knew was the brains behind this. “What are _you_ doing?”

“We wanted to see where the passage behind the tapestry on the fourth floor goes, and it turns out it’s… wait, hold on.” Sirius looked around and took in the fourth-floor corridor. “But we went up some stairs.”

Remus fought hard to not let the snicker escape his mouth and ended up almost choking on it. “Did you go around in a circle? That was _really_ worth it, wasn’t it?”

“Shut up Moony, go be a perfect prefect somewhere else.”

“It’s always lovely to hear that you think I’m perfect Pads.” Remus paused as James snorted, “Just don’t get caught, ok?”

The three of them disappeared back into the passage behind the tapestry, keen to figure out where they’d taken a wrong turn. Remus rolled his eyes and carried on patrolling the fourth floor.

“Why would Mary ask Remus to go to Hogsmeade?” Pete asked as they were approaching the portrait hole. “Doesn’t she know that he’s gay?”

“He’s not gay Pete, he’s bi,” Sirius replied. Then he held up a finger to silence Peter before he could reply, checking if there was anyone still up. Once it was clear that the common room was empty, the three of them headed quickly up the stairs to their dorm, each collapsing on their beds, except Sirius who fell onto Remus’.

“It’s closer, Prongs. Get that smirk off your face before I smack if off.”

“Ooh, fighting talk.” James laughed. "I didn't say a word about you being in Remus' bed."

“I don’t get the difference.” Pete shrugged, unfazed by the other two. “Surely if he’s with a girl he’s straight and if he’s with a boy he’s gay?”

“Oh, Pete,” James muttered.

None of them heard Remus come up the tower steps and linger outside the door once he heard Pete’s comments, hoping his friends weren’t taking the piss out him. He knew better, but those intrusive thoughts just popped up sometimes, so he lingered. He’d come out to them six months ago by letting them know that he was going to Hogsmeade with Benjy Fenwick, much to Sirius’ chagrin.

Sirius had been as supportive as he could be. He knew that he liked Remus. He’d known since fourth year when he found himself sobbing onto the hospital wing blankets when Remus had a particularly bad moon. He’d confided with James a few days later, to learn that James already had an inkling that he liked Remus. He was grateful for Peter’s obliviousness at that moment, and after he was dared to kiss Remus during a drinking game during the last week of fifth year, he declared himself gay to everyone present. He pretended not to notice how red Remus’ cheeks were and how he touched his lips when he thought nobody was watching. When he started dating Benjy officially, Sirius let James give him a pep talk and decided that being a good friend was more important than any other feelings that he had. When Remus and Benjy broke up, he was there for Remus, and while Remus wouldn’t let him hex Benjy, he’d made it clear that the sentiment was appreciated.

“That’s really not how it works.” Sirius shook his head. “I feel like you’re being deliberately obtuse.”

“It sounds like you’ve swallowed one of Moony’s books.” Pete sniffed, trying not to show that he didn’t actually know what obtuse meant.

James muttered, “That probably isn’t all of Moony’s he’d like to swallow.”

“Prongs, don’t make me come over there,” Sirius growled.

James held his hands up in surrender. “Ok, ok. Am I wrong, though?”

“James, I swear to fuck!” Sirius shot him a look which actually made him stop talking. The three of them sat in silence for a minute or two. Remus debated entering at this point, but he could sense that the conversation wasn’t over.

“Are all werewolves bisexual you reckon?” James pondered after a while.

“All the ones that I know are.” Sirius chuckled.

“You only know one, Sirius. That isn’t a big enough sample size to prove anything.” James threw his snitch up the air and caught it. It really wasn’t supposed to be out of the Quidditch supplies shed, but if Professor McGonagall had noticed it missing, she hadn’t said anything.

“But why would he say _no_ to Mary, if he’s also into girls, then?” Peter rested his head in his hands. “I’d kill for Mary to ask _me_ to Hogsmeade. Lucky prick."

“Because he’s going to Hogsmeade with someone else. Are you _really_ this dense, Pete?” Sirius was losing patience with Peter very quickly.

“Who’s he going with?” Pete said, “I just don’t get it.”

“Go to sleep Pete, you’ll hurt yourself if you try to think any more tonight.” Sirius spat.

“I _don’t get it_ , though. He was with Benjy until last month so surely—”

“You don’t have to get it, Pete. You just have to accept it and be a decent human being.”

“I’m really trying to get my head around it, Padfoot.” Peter’s face was red. “I’d never heard of it before and I don’t get how he can switch between being gay and not.”

James facepalmed, “You were doing so well.”

“Ok so, Remus is a werewolf,” Sirius said slowly.

“Yeah, I know that much.”

“He’s a werewolf whether he’s in wolf form or human form, yes?” Sirius waited for Pete to nod. “So no matter the circumstance, or his appearance, _he is a werewolf_. It’s the same for being bisexual, it doesn’t matter if he’s with a boy or a girl or someone who isn’t either of those, he’s bi. That’s it.”

“But—”

“No, he’s bisexual. That’s it, no buts.”

“Actually, I’d like to think there’d be _some_ butts.” Sirius flushed as he realised that Remus had caught at least the end of their conversation. “Otherwise what would be the point of being bi?”

“How long have you been there?” James asked, trying not to laugh at the stricken look on Sirius’ face.

“Long enough to hear your smutty comments, Potter.” He threw his scarf at James, which hit him square in the face, as he crossed to his bed, looking at Sirius, concerned, “Are you alright?”

Sirius nodded a bit too vigorously, “Yep, fine.”

“I really thought they knew by now,” Remus muttered, sitting against the headboard. “Idiots.”

“But that doesn’t answer my question of who you’re going to Hogsmeade with on Saturday!” Peter whined. Sirius joined Remus, leaning against the headboard and resting his head on Remus’ shoulder.

“I’m going with Sirius. You heard him ask me, Pete. He asked me in Defence Against the Dark Arts. You were there.” Remus frowned slightly, linking his fingers with Sirius’. “He literally got down on one knee in the middle of the classroom. He gave me a fucking red rose. You literally teased him about it.”

“But I thought he was joking. I thought you were— You— Wait, you and _you_?” He looked from Remus to Sirius. “Oh.”

James burst into raucous laughter.

“You didn’t know either, Prongs.” Remus noted, “So I don’t know why you’re so amused.”

“I knew that Sirius wanted to—”

“That’s quite enough of that, thanks.” Sirius shot a look at James.

“I’d quite like to hear what James has to say.” Remus teased, leaning his head against Sirius’. “Sirius wanted to… “

Sirius covered Remus’ mouth with his hand, then pulled it away with a look of disgust, “You licked me!”

“You should know better than to put your hands near a werewolf’s mouth.” Remus shrugged. “Be grateful I didn’t bite you.” He eyed a spot on Sirius’ neck that was a faded purple, that he’d sucked into Sirius’ skin the previous evening, then added quietly. “Again.”

**Author's Note:**

> It's been so long. I've been pretty sick but I wrote 20000 words during November so I have a few to upload during December. My plan in the new year is to wrap up all of my existing fics and then write some more! :)


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